Warning by Beatrice (7G)

When I am an old woman I shall wear neon pink lycra with lemon yellow platforms and colourful sombreros.

And I shall spend my pension on big boxes of chocolates, leopard print high heels that are too small for me, and I shall convert my room into a 2 storey gym.

And say we’ve no money for jam.

I shall live in a caravan and travel the world.

And I will build a log cabin in the woods and stay there every weekend.

And become a skiing champion.

 

You can wear pirate fancy dress and velvet waistcoats with ties that light up when you move.

And eat sushi all night long.

And win spicy food competitions and do all nighters.

 

But now we must drink English breakfast tea at coffee mornings.

And dress the house in pretty paintings.

And volunteer in village shops.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me aren’t too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old and start to wear pink lycra and sombreros.

Warning by Erin (7G)

When I am an old woman I shall wear a holographic jacket in the daylight so it shines in the sun,

And an extravagant blue sun hat

And funky rings to decorate my fingers.

 

And I shall spend my pension on overly-expensive handbags,

And funky clay models.

And bundles and bundles of wool to knit my unique clothes

I’ll buy an aquarium and use it as a swimming pool for myself.

And say we’ve no money for eggs.

 

I shall ask some for directions and walk the other way,

And shout marco in shops to see if anyone will answer with polo

And eat rice pudding out of a mayonnaise jar in public so it appears I am eating mayonnaise.

 

You can wear bright patterned shirts that barely fit you as I spent all money on luxuries,

And sunglasses that are bright pink,

With multi-coloured trousers embroidered by me.

And eat hotdogs in an eating contest

And become a yoga instructor

And attempt to refurbish the house, with no experience.

 

But now we must be polite and say our pleases and thank yous,

And eat all your vegetables,

And clean up after yourself.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me aren’t too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old and start to wear holographic jackets.

Warning by Conrad (7G)

When I am an old man I shall wear a backwards hat and some cracked sunglasses

And a football shirt with bright pink dance trousers

And giant yellow wellies and a chain.

And I shall spend my pension on rocket fuel and fill my car with it

And on chocolate brownies with icing

And say we’ve no money for electricity bills.

I shall go to army training

And become a professional tiddlywinks champion

And wrestle lions.

 

You can wear curly wigs and piano shaped hats. Also fake mustaches and vibrant shirts with pineapples on and black and white trousers with zebras.

And eat caramelized bananas and soft bread

And climb trees and star in the best films and also own the world’s oldest TV.

 

But now we must unload the dishwasher

And eat asparagus and sprouts

And get up for school.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me aren’t too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old and start to wear pink trousers.

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